Expecting the Best: Online and Offline

by John on August 29, 2010

I believe that for the most part, we all expect the good in others. Whether we meet someone in real life (IRL) or in a virtual environment; we expect them to be honest, forthright and professional. We expect these actions without thinking about them; it’s just what we expect. We expect trust, doing the right thing and not hurting the other person.

Unfortunately this is not always the case with our relationships. People hurt us, take advantage of us, do hurtful things; it is a sad fact of life, that in some ways, is becoming more common place.

IRL when someone treats us this way, we have choices: confront the person, turn and walk away, or do nothing but maybe distance ourselves from that person. What have you done in these situations?

Today, more business and personal relationships start online or in a virtual environment. I believe the same rules and thought processes take place with these relationships: we expect the best out of those we meet online. We believe what we are told, we develop a friendship, a relationship or seek out opportunities to work with these individuals. At times though, these relationships are revealed to be less than wholesome, meaning the other person has mislead us, lied to us, or they have been using our expertise and business relationships for their own gain. We must ask ourselves the same question though; how do we handle it? Do we confront the person online? Do we call them out? What have you done or what would you do?

I know friends that have been hurt through virtual relationships. This is as unfortunate as being hurt IRL because it is life. True these relationships are virtual in as much as we do not see these people face-to-face, but we are humans being hurt by other humans. How do we correct this? How do we deal with it when others treat us this way?  My thoughts:  call them out.  What do you say?

The virtual environment, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. is a little like the Wild West. While you will find plenty of material written about the right and wrong way to conduct yourself; there are no rules. People are free to do what they want. Is this good or is this bad?  How can you make a pinky promise in a virtual relationship?

I believe in people and trust others until they give me a reason not to. I am far from perfect and have made my own mistakes in relationships, friendships and in business. However, I do believe most people we meet, IRL or online are honest and trustworthy.

What do you think?

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It’s Okay to Say No

by John on August 15, 2010

I believe as humans, it is our natural inclination to say yes, to want to help others. I also believe that we can overwhelm ourselves or overload our schedules by saying yes too often.

My personalty is the type that is driven to succeed, but at the same time has a hard time saying no to people. Why?  I want to help others, I see it as a challenge and to a certain extent because I don’t want to disappoint others.

Like most professionals, I receive requests for help or assistance in certain areas; things that I may have more knowledge of , and typically I will try to help when appropriate.  But this does not mean that every request that can be or should be honored nor does it mean that the assistance should be free.

As a consultant in marketing, social media and business development, my time is what I have to charge for.  I do not sell a product like a widget, I sell my knowledge and my time.  This does not mean that I won’t enjoy a cup of coffee with you or lunch and won’t discuss business.  It does mean that once the discussion is about my areas of consultation, we will discuss rates.

It is also okay to say no to requests for recommendations. Do you use LinkedIn?  If not, cruise on over and sign up; build your network and connections sensibly and ask for recommendations from former co-workers, colleagues and friends.  A word of caution; if you have not talked to someone or had any communications or connections with them recently, it’s not a good idea to ask for a recommendation.  This recently happened to me; the person that asked for the recommendation is a fine person, but they have not spoken to me in years.  I have no recent basis of how to recommend this person.

I think it’s okay to say no. What do you think and how do you politely say no?

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How Do You See The World?

August 10, 2010

One of the reasons I love visiting Walt Disney World is to see the looks on children’s faces when they see everything before them!  Cinderella’s Castle, Mickey Mouse, thrill rides and their favorite characters right before their eyes!  The eyes wide open, jaw dropped look is priceless!  This is how children approach most days, with [...]

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Take a Chance

July 24, 2010

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-Robert Schuller
I love this quote by Robert Schuller.  What would each of us attempt if we knew we could not fail?  My guess is, we would attempt a lot more than we do now. I believe we can get too wrapped up in the planning [...]

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Monday Mornings

July 19, 2010

A wise man once said, ” If you stay in the shower for a long time on Monday because you don’t look forward to going to work…. find a new job.”  I am paraphrasing a little with that statement, but to the best of my memory, I first heard that listening to a Zig [...]

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How Do You ReTweet?

July 11, 2010

While talking with friends on Twitter this morning; a thought came to my mind:  How do we, as individual Twitter users, retweet?  At it’s core, the retweet (or “RT” for short) allows Twitter users to share the best links, tweets, and conversations they find helpful or useful.
Do more Twitter users RT for the sake [...]

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Customer Service: The Right Way & The Wrong Way

July 10, 2010

If you know me at all, you know that I am a full supporter of the Apple brand and owner of multiple products bearing their logo. Why?  It just works.  I purchased the original iPhone the day it was released and anxiously awaited the release of the iPhone 4. Due to my original [...]

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Fresh Baked Ideas…

June 26, 2010

It amazes me how connections can turn into incredible partnerships, friendships and opportunities to promote one another, even when its unexpected.
If you follow me on Twitter, thank you;  if its been a while since we spoke, drop me an @ reply or a DM, I would love to hear from you.   Followers on Twitter know [...]

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Build Your Alliance

June 12, 2010

I believe that most of us have confidence and faith in our own abilities.  We believe that we can accomplish quite a bit on our own, and traditionally, we don’t like to ask for help.  In life, in the business world; we need to get past this outdated way of thinking and build an alliance.
More [...]

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Guest Post: Sending My Baby Off To War

May 26, 2010

This post is from my friend Ann Marie – @WorkingMoms on Twitter. As we head into the Memorial Day weekend, I encourage you to pause and be thankful for those that fight for our freedom and remember those that have given the ultimate sacrifice.
Why present a post about this topic on [...]

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