Something to make you laugh today!

These are compliments of my friend Kathy Bibb – @kbibb on Twitter.  Check out her website, Eyes on Roanoke –

     1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with
     grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee.

     2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
     roll to the least accessible corner.

     3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
     proportional to the stupidity of your act.

     4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get
     a busy signal & someone always answers.

     5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work
     because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a
     flat tire.

     6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
     you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now
     (works every time).

     7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
     telephone rings.

     8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you
     know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want
     to be seen with.

     9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a
     machine won't work, it will.

     10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
     proportional to the reach.

     11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people
     whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are
     the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food,
     beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the
     performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come
     early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay
     to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very
     surly folk.

     12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
     your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
     coffee is cold.

     13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
     room, they will have adjacent lockers.

     14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly
     sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the
     newness & cost of the carpet or rug.

     15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know
     what you are talking about.

     16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're

     17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

     18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you
     find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

     19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
     to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But
     don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Speak Your Mind