Friendship

If you look up the word friendship on Wikipedia, you will get the following definition:Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

Now, why would I write a post about friendship?  It’s simple, friendships, partnerships and making connections for each other all come down to a few simple principles: trust, having each others backs, and dependability.  I have to be able to trust you to refer you to people that I know; I have to know that you have my back so that I can trust you; and I must know that you are dependable.  If these things are missing; it is just not going to work.I have a lot of connections and I am always interested in having more.  Part of what I do is connect people, once I know those key elements exist.  Without those elements, I will not connect you to my network; it has taken me too many years to build the relationships and I will not jeopardize them if there is not trust or dependability.While I have a lot of connections, I  have few really close friends.  This is by design; not because I am hard to friend or difficult to be around, but I have to have a deep level of trust for there to be a true friendship.  I have to know that you have my back; that you will not do anything to hurt me and that you will defend me when I am not around.I encourage you to look at your connections, look at your friendships and partnerships; are you building that trust or breaking it?  When you call someone a friend or a best friend, do you truly trust them and let them get that close?  If not, why not?  Do you have their back, no matter what?  Should you?Just my thoughts.  What do you say?

Comments

  1. John Lusher says:

    Thank you Diana. Long-term friendships and relationships do develop over time, but only with both parties actively involved with the development. I do think a lot of people have forgotten what it means to be a true friend.

  2. Simon K Lloyd says:

    A very interesting piece on friendship. It is also interesting how the dynamics of friendship has changed due to the Internet and sites suchas twitter. I am contually amazed at how one can have a possitive influence on (and be influenced by) someone who I would call a friend but may never meet in person.

  3. Diana Lee Matisz says:

    I’ve found that as I’ve grown older,true friendships are far and few between and develop slowly and with caution, somewhat a protection of self perhaps. It is odd however, that my closest friendships today are with people I have never seen face-to-face but who embody all the criteria you mention above. It’s again only a handful of people but well-chosen. A very nice piece John.

  4. John Lusher says:

    Thank you Simon for your comments and you are right, dynamics change and positive influences can come from places you would not have imagined.

  5. John Lusher says:

    Thank you Diana. Long-term friendships and relationships do develop over time, but only with both parties actively involved with the development. I do think a lot of people have forgotten what it means to be a true friend.

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