Archives for August 2010

Expecting the Best: Online and Offline


I believe that for the most part, we all expect the good in others. Whether we meet someone in real life (IRL) or in a virtual environment; we expect them to be honest, forthright and professional. We expect these actions without thinking about them; it’s just what we expect. We expect trust, doing the right thing and not hurting the other person.Unfortunately this is not always the case with our relationships. People hurt us, take advantage of us, do hurtful things; it is a sad fact of life, that in some ways, is becoming more common place.IRL when someone treats us this way, we have choices: confront the person, turn and walk away, or do nothing but maybe distance ourselves from that person. What have you done in these situations?Today, more business and personal relationships start online or in a virtual environment. I believe the same rules and thought processes take place with these relationships: we expect the best out of those we meet online. We believe what we are told, we develop a friendship, a relationship or seek out opportunities to work with these individuals. At times though, these relationships are revealed to be less than wholesome, meaning the other person has mislead us, lied to us, or they have been using our expertise and business relationships for their own gain. We must ask ourselves the same question though; how do we handle it? Do we confront the person online? Do we call them out? What have you done or what would you do?I know friends that have been hurt through virtual relationships. This is as unfortunate as being hurt IRL because it is life. True these relationships are virtual in as much as we do not see these people face-to-face, but we are humans being hurt by other humans. How do we correct this? How do we deal with it when others treat us this way?  My thoughts:  call them out.  What do you say?The virtual environment, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. is a little like the Wild West. While you will find plenty of material written about the right and wrong way to conduct yourself; there are no rules. People are free to do what they want. Is this good or is this bad?  How can you make a pinky promise in a virtual relationship?I believe in people and trust others until they give me a reason not to. I am far from perfect and have made my own mistakes in relationships, friendships and in business. However, I do believe most people we meet, IRL or online are honest and trustworthy.What do you think?

It’s Okay to Say No


I believe as humans, it is our natural inclination to say yes, to want to help others. I also believe that we can overwhelm ourselves or overload our schedules by saying yes too often.My personalty is the type that is driven to succeed, but at the same time has a hard time saying no to people. Why?  I want to help others, I see it as a challenge and to a certain extent because I don’t want to disappoint others.Like most professionals, I receive requests for help or assistance in certain areas; things that I may have more knowledge of , and typically I will try to help when appropriate.  But this does not mean that every request that can be or should be honored nor does it mean that the assistance should be free.As a consultant in marketing, social media and business development, my time is what I have to charge for.  I do not sell a product like a widget, I sell my knowledge and my time.  This does not mean that I won’t enjoy a cup of coffee with you or lunch and won’t discuss business.  It does mean that once the discussion is about my areas of consultation, we will discuss rates.It is also okay to say no to requests for recommendations. Do you use LinkedIn?  If not, cruise on over and sign up; build your network and connections sensibly and ask for recommendations from former co-workers, colleagues and friends.  A word of caution; if you have not talked to someone or had any communications or connections with them recently, it’s not a good idea to ask for a recommendation.  This recently happened to me; the person that asked for the recommendation is a fine person, but they have not spoken to me in years.  I have no recent basis of how to recommend this person.I think it’s okay to say no. What do you think and how do you politely say no?


Why do I smoke cigars?


I choose to smoke cigars for many reasons. I enjoy the taste of the tobacco and the relaxation that comes with spending an hour or more on a single activity; no email, not text messages, Twitter or Facebook, just focusing on the cigar.

I use cigars to celebrate moments in my life and to remember and honor those that have gone before me. I smoke them to bond with friends and to commemorate events that I want to remember.

I have smoked cigars to celebrate anniversaries, to memorialize loved ones and just because. The entire process is an enjoyment; from selecting the appropriate cigar to cutting in and lighting it and enjoying the smell, taste and aroma.

I smoke cigars because I enjoy them….and for a thousand other reasons.

How Do You See The World?


One of the reasons I love visiting Walt Disney World is to see the looks on children’s faces when they see everything before them!  Cinderella’s Castle, Mickey Mouse, thrill rides and their favorite characters right before their eyes!  The eyes wide open, jaw dropped look is priceless!  This is how children approach most days, with wonder, amazement and excited to see what will happen!My question to you is this: How Do You See The World?  Think about it; each and every day we are given has this same amazement and wonder to us as adults….if we only adjust our thinking to see what is before us.  Amazing friends, new connections, opportunities to help others; these are just basic examples of what is in  front of us each day! Business opportunities are in front of us at every step, every single day; but only if we open our eyes to see what is in front of us!How Do You See The World?Unfortunately, as adults too many of us see the world and each day as a chore….we must get up, we must go to work, we must meet quota, we must do this and do that!  Wake up!  Each day is a gift given to you and you are NOT guaranteed tomorrow!  Greet each day as a child does entering Walt Disney World:  ready to see it all, do it all and experience it all!How Do You See The World?

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